KK and I have been talking a lot about the differences between our experiences trying to conceive and the experiences of our sisters (I have one younger sister and she has two older sisters).  In our case we have been very open with our family about the process, sharing the details and laughing over the lunacy of it all.  They know we are in the dreaded two week wait and all sisters phone almost daily to ask for details, “Any symptoms yet?”  When they were waiting, learning the news and experiencing the early symptoms of pregnancy they were all quiet until they hit the end of the first trimester, dutifully following common wisdom.  As KK and I talked about how we would handle the process we always thought that we too would follow that path, waiting until we were solidly into the second trimester to share news with families.  And then we remembered we are queer and the rules don’t always apply to us.

My sister says that the state of being pregnant seems to invite people to ask questions and do things that would otherwise be entirely inappropriate.  Her favorite is the moment when the random stranger touches your belly as if it is no longer a part of your body, but has somehow become public property once the pregnancy is visible.  This is closely followed by the question, “how many weeks are you?”  In her mind people might as well just ask, “When did you and your husband have sex in order to produce this little one?”

I love the fact that there is no sex involved here.  Just a very kind nurse practitioner in a doctor’s office.  Perfectly sterile on all fronts with the added benefit that we have seen the follicles and my wife knows what my ovaries look like – so incredibly cool.  It means that I can call my mom and say, “This waiting is driving me crazy, and the only person who is more anxious is KK!”  When we were picking our donor we were able to send my log in details to our sisters and in giggling phone conversations (there may have been wine involved) debate the merits and draw backs of each potential candidate.  And when we take that first all important test we will be at my parent’s house (this is just a happy accident) so that if this doesn’t work the first time we will be surrounded by loving family who are cheering for us.

Today, at this point in my life, I love being a lesbian.  From my perspective it’s way better than the alternative.

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