Last night we had the pleasure of spending the evening with new friends. In the last months of my pregnancy our pastor (and a good friend of mine) invited us to join her for dinner so that she could introduce us to friends of hers, an older lesbian couple with a son. We enjoyed our conversation so much that we were thrilled when they reached out to us after Z was born. Their 23 year old son M (donor conceived just like Z) just graduated from college and is embarking on his first real job. He left on Wednesday for a new life in North Carolina and they were quite the proud mamas. We talked about childbirth, infant sleep, parenting, and breastfeeding. I feel so lucky to be able to spend time with women who paved the way for my family. In our first meeting they shared a story of bringing M to an evening gathering of friends when he was a year an a half old. According to them the population of donor conceived children in our city spiked shortly after that meeting.  I am not surprised.

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Today I discovered that Z has a donor sibling born on the same day. How strange. I wonder what his life and experience will be like, knowing that there are others who share his genes.

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Through the internal chaos and fog of PPD/PPA there are many constants that hold my center in place. My wife reminds me daily that I am a good parent. She tells me the stories of what is true when I can’t see it for myself.  I go to work and remember my gifts.  Students stop by and I realize that I’ve always had children…I adore their brilliant and crazy young selves.  Every day I learn more about this little boy who is entirely new. And yet, I feel as if he was always here, as if I have always known him.

20130111-143050.jpgThe newborn fauxhawk is slowly fading…

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